1) Survey what you are doingForget justifying why you did (or didn't do) this or that; just watch yourself. The adage "Don't listen to what people say, but watch what they do" can be applied to yourself as well. Imagine you are someone else whose watching your behavior. Ask yourself: Why did I act that way? Was it the need to be in control (even if that control is related to making things fail) or was it the need for excitement through conflict, or the desire for attention or sympathy from others? Why do you do what you did?
2) Success is not black or whiteImagine what true success will be like. It may be different from what you'd been unconsciously assuming. Successful relationships, for example, don't work well all of the time; earning more money won't solve all your problems. Success isn't black or white; it's all relative. So remember that becoming successful (in whatever way) won't feel so strange when it happens because it's a natural part of being human - but the idea of success may feel strange.
3) Don't throw the baby out with the bathwaterI love this saying the most...because people most often self-sabotage because of their perfectionism! They say to themselves if it isn't perfect, then what's the point?
You may have heard that people on strict diets trying to lose weight will more likely overeat if they feel they have veered off their diet even slightly: "What the hell, I've totally blown it now. I might as well completely binge!" People not on diets don't do this as often. So if you have a little setback or mini-failure...consciously stop yourself from throwing it all away. STOP seeing things that go 'a little wrong' as wrong and therefore ruin it completely.
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